When I first got into studying psychology and consciousness, it was definitely coming from a natural interest, but it was also because I felt something was inherently wrong with how I was feeling.
I didn’t feel fundamentally ok. I was easily knocked off my center and felt insecure much of the time. It looked to me as though if I could heal enough of my “issues”, then I’d be ok. What I didn’t see though was that this put being ok outside of me. It meant I would have to continue striving for something different than what was in order to be at ease.
Over the years, I’ve seen that thinking I have to fix myself in order to be happy and ok is no different than thinking I have to make “enough” money or have the “right” job in order to be happy. This doesn’t make any sense though. Being ok and happy internally does not come from something being different outside of ourselves. If it did, people would be much happier based on how often humans currently try this approach.
It’s precisely because it doesn’t work that way that we see so much uneasiness in the world.
What’s more accurate is that just like underneath the rockiness of the waves, there is still, peaceful water, underneath our ever-changing emotional experience is a peaceful feeling. Beyond thought, there is a sense that we are inherently ok.
My guess is we’ve all had a glimpse of what I’m pointing to here. That moment when your mind goes quiet and even though nothings different externally you just have this feeling, this knowing that all is well.
This experience use to look like an anomaly to me that was nice to have but it didn’t mean much. It wasn't until I looked here from insight that I realized I was actually onto something.
Recently I saw our fundamental okness even more clearly. I noticed I wasn't feeling anxious about something that had previously been bothering me. When I reflected on what had changed, I saw that I was feeling this deep okness and the thoughts of worry weren’t there anymore.
Before, it looked like I'd only be ok if the outcome went how it “should”. Now, my okness was just there. It just was and it wasn’t breakable or dependent on anything. This had all been invisible to me until I looked.
As I saw this more clearly for myself, I saw it more clearly with my clients. When things look challenging or scary to them, the thoughts they are having about what’s happening or what could happen make it seem like they’re not ok.
For example, with one person it looked like possibly branching out in his business was risky because if it was hard or didn’t pan out, he wouldn’t be able to handle that. For another, it looked like if her relationship didn’t pan out, it meant something about her, about whether or not she was ok. What was so interesting to see in all these cases was that things stopped looking risky or threatening or like a big deal the moment each of us saw and felt our basic and fundamental okness.
Nothing else changed besides this. The circumstance and possible outcomes didn’t change, just the fact that each of us saw and felt more deeply ok... no matter what.
It stopped looking like something outside of us could diminish that in any way.
It brought forward so much compassion in me for our human experience. It’s so innocent and natural that this a part of our learning curve sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean anything about us.
Yet, as we deepen in seeing that we are in fact ok at a deep, unbreakable level, life feels easier, we have better quality thinking, we don’t take insecure thought as seriously, we feel more creative and light-hearted, we experience our natural well-being more as well as the benefits of our mental health... and the list goes on.
We may have all sorts of experiences in life: marriage, divorce, good times with our kids, hard times with our business, easy emotions, tough emotions, etc. Yet underneath that experience, we are ok, we are being guided and lived, we navigate from a deeper intelligence than the rockiness of the waves.
We will remember and forget this and that’s ok too. It doesn’t change a thing. We’re still ok.
And I assume this insight will continue to come forward at deeper and deeper levels.
This experience use to look like an anomaly to me that was nice to have but it didn’t mean much. It wasn't until I looked here from insight that I realized I was actually onto something.
Recently I saw our fundamental okness even more clearly. I noticed I wasn't feeling anxious about something that had previously been bothering me. When I reflected on what had changed, I saw that I was feeling this deep okness and the thoughts of worry weren’t there anymore.
Before, it looked like I'd only be ok if the outcome went how it “should”. Now, my okness was just there. It just was and it wasn’t breakable or dependent on anything. This had all been invisible to me until I looked.
As I saw this more clearly for myself, I saw it more clearly with my clients. When things look challenging or scary to them, the thoughts they are having about what’s happening or what could happen make it seem like they’re not ok.
For example, with one person it looked like possibly branching out in his business was risky because if it was hard or didn’t pan out, he wouldn’t be able to handle that. For another, it looked like if her relationship didn’t pan out, it meant something about her, about whether or not she was ok. What was so interesting to see in all these cases was that things stopped looking risky or threatening or like a big deal the moment each of us saw and felt our basic and fundamental okness.
Nothing else changed besides this. The circumstance and possible outcomes didn’t change, just the fact that each of us saw and felt more deeply ok... no matter what.
It stopped looking like something outside of us could diminish that in any way.
It brought forward so much compassion in me for our human experience. It’s so innocent and natural that this a part of our learning curve sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean anything about us.
Yet, as we deepen in seeing that we are in fact ok at a deep, unbreakable level, life feels easier, we have better quality thinking, we don’t take insecure thought as seriously, we feel more creative and light-hearted, we experience our natural well-being more as well as the benefits of our mental health... and the list goes on.
We may have all sorts of experiences in life: marriage, divorce, good times with our kids, hard times with our business, easy emotions, tough emotions, etc. Yet underneath that experience, we are ok, we are being guided and lived, we navigate from a deeper intelligence than the rockiness of the waves.
We will remember and forget this and that’s ok too. It doesn’t change a thing. We’re still ok.
And I assume this insight will continue to come forward at deeper and deeper levels.