It is common to have a misunderstanding that our experience is solely being created by what is happening outside of us.
While we do experience what happens to us physically, the state of mind we're in flavors they way that experience looks. For example, my husband can do the same behavior on two different days. On the first day, I may be in a low mood, take his behavior personally, and get irritated by him. On another day, I may be feeling better, take it less personally and have compassion.
Same behavior, different experience.
This simple difference in our understanding makes all the difference. Instead of spending as much time and energy on "fixing" what is happening outside, I have a different direction to look in: my state of mind.